Old Dun Cow
(Harry Wincott 1893)

Some friends and I in a public house
Were playing dominoes one night
When into the room a fireman came,
His face all chalky white
“What’s up?” says Brown, “Have you seen a ghost?”
“Have you seen your Aunt Moriah?”
“Oh my Aunt Moriah be buggered,” says he,
“The bleeding pubs on fire”

“Oh,” says Brown, “What a bit of luck
What a bit of luck says he.
It’s down to the cellar if the fire’s not there
Then we’ll have a grand old spree”
So we all went down with good old Brown
And the booze we could not miss
And we hadn’t been there ten minutes or more
Till we were quite like this
[chorus]
Oh, there was Brown, up side down
Mopping up the whiskey on the floor
“Booze, booze” the firemen cried
As they come a knockin’ at the door
“Well don’t let em in till it’s all mopped up
Somebody shouted, “MacIntyre”
And we all got blue blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire

Then Smith ran over to the port wine tub
And gave it just a few hard knocks
He started taking off his pantaloons
Likewise his shoes and socks
“Oh no,” says Brown, “That t’ain’t allowed
You can’t do that there
Don’t be washing your trotters in the port wine tub
When we got some stale beer”
[chorus]

Then all of a sudden came a horrible crash
Half the bloody room caved in
And we were drownded by the fireman’s hose
Yet we were still ok
So we got some tacks and some wet old sacks
And we packed ourselves inside
And we sat there drinking good ole Bushmills
’till we were bleery eyed
[chorus]